Sold

I sold my bike.

I had that bike for 15 years or so. I logged a LOT of miles. Michael and I would bike the 40 mile loop around Portland, sometimes every weekend when we were training for something. I biked 55 miles in Reach the Beach. Which was huge for me–it was my first big event.

I biked 100 Miles in the Portland Century! (I was pretty proud of that one!)

And 64 miles in the Peach of a Century.

I would ride to work. And I loved doing it! I was also on TV a long time ago, on my bike. LOL

I wasn’t biking as much after I had Logan because I had so much pumping gear I had to haul to work. But then a few years later I did pick it up again here and there. During the early days of covid, biking kept me sane when I couldn’t go to the gym anymore. I biked A LOT then!

But when I got pregnant with Zoey my pregnancy was a lot harder than with Logan and I couldn’t do a lot of the fitness stuff I did when I was pregnant the first time. After I had her, my hip pain that had been manageable most of my life got unmanageable. The lengthly process of diagnosis and seeing several surgeons ended with: no more running and no more road bikes. I could get a different kind of upright bike. And I did! And I’ve been using it a lot.

But for 2 years now my old bike has hung in our garage and I look at it and feel sad. Over the years I’ve tried to ride it–every few months or so. Just to test it out and see if maybe my body has changed or healed and maybe I can use my road bike again? NOPE. Immediate pain.

So I decided it was time to sell it. It went to a good home, which makes me happy. A woman in her late twenties/early thirties who is getting into cycling with her boyfriend and wants a lighter bike than her mountain bike. I saw myself in her a bit, so I felt happy to pass it on to her.

But there is still sadness and grief. So much of my old “personality” has been taken from me with my diagnosis of my autoimmune disorders and the tear in my hip. Things I loved to do–running, biking, intense workouts, etc–I just cannot do anymore. I am trying to find the grace in letting go of things that no longer serve me.