I wanted to tell you about a book I read recently. It’s called The Gospel of Wellness: Gyms, Gurus, Goop and the False Promise of Self-Care by Rina Raphael.
“What is “wellness,” exactly? At its most basic level, it’s the active pursuit of well-being outside the realm of medicine. It’s more than just avoiding sickness; it encompasses prevention and maintenance: nutrition, fitness, sleep, community support, and stress management. It’s the choices we make to feel better physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually.”
The book discusses how the business of “wellness” has basically become a religion. It was an interesting point to make. Things like GOOP, SoulCycle, yoga, MLMs, the list can go on and on but at the heart of them, they are promising something we think we are missing. It also gives us a membership to a club. The club of “Wellness.”
“Wellness promised me food that could deliver more energy and keep me thin. Supplements dangled better sleep when I lay awake wondering whether I’d die alone. A fitness class hinted I didn’t need to make plans to see friends—they’d just be there.”
Something I’ve noticed with my own health journey is the allure of supplements and diet. If I try this diet, will it “cure” me? And a lot of people in the same boat feel this way. I think it’s normal and I’m sure part of it has to do with the gaslighting women in particular feel when they go to the doctor. When we go to the doctor and we’re told we just need to lose some weight.
I thought this concept was particularly interesting:
“Being “healthy” once meant going to the doctor regularly. Now it means you should rarely need to see a doctor. Wellness, in its current form, is almost an aspirational obsession for some and close to religious dogma for others. The average American believes adherence to popularized methods can overcome sickness, unhappiness, and even death. A strict overhaul of diet, movement, and thoughts is hailed as the new messiah. In wellness, it seems, we trust.”
“Close to religious dogma”. I was there! I was so immersed in the “wellness” of it all. I was strict with my calories, I had food that I didn’t keep in the house because I didn’t trust myself. There was “safe” food. I had a strict workout schedule I *never* deviated from. Partly because I feared that if I missed one day, it would lead to two, to three, to gaining all the weight back.
The strict food and diet regiment gave me a purpose back then. I had AMAZING willpower, celebrated by everyone. I felt confident and superior because I had amazing willpower and kept the weight off for over a decade! I mean, that’s willpower, right? It became my entire identity. I was the girl that lost 110 pounds. People asked me for advice. I had a blog. In reality, I wasn’t nourishing myself physically, emotionally or spiritually.
Now that I’ve stepped away from diet culture, I do see it more clearly. And when other people talk about it (and it comes up A LOT in casual conversation) it’s stark and glaringly obvious. (I gave someone a gift of homemade sourdough and they said, “Oh, we don’t really eat bread”. A family member talked about protein and carbs in food. Another switched to those hard seltzers because “wine has too much sugar in it” etc etc). You can’t escape it.
The author talked about her own experience and I could relate to a lot of it, in several parts of my life. I definitely felt that “call” when I first started to lose the weight. And then I felt it a few times after that, mostly postpartum when my body didn’t feel like my own and there was pressure to “get my body back.” And then when I was dealing with the autoimmune disorder–again, something that has taken control away from me.
“Too many things in my life started to feel diseased. I couldn’t always put my finger on it, but I started to suspect there was something fundamentally unhealthy about the way I was living. The work stress, the greasy takeout food, the endless, soul-crushing dating … I was actively looking to manage all of it. I was open to alternatives. And wellness brands spoke my language; they understood full well there were real issues impacting people just like me.”
The book also talked about the consumerism of wellness culture: “Two-thirds of American women devote half of their closets to athleisurewear.” It’s BIG BUSINESS. Social media has become just one big advertisement. Everyone is an influencer selling something. AG1, supplements for your hair, Moon Juice! There is a body positive influencer I used to follow and enjoy and her account is no longer about body positivity or healing from eating disorders. It’s 100% selling crap. Selling supplements and diet products, selling makeup, selling memberships to monthly clothing boxes.
“But escapism and consumption do not promise real change.”
None of these things are going to “fix” what ails us!
“We have become a self-care nation, though arguably one that still lacks the fundamentals of well-being.”
What is well-being? To me, it’s basic stuff. A work-life balance, not having a horrific commute. Sleeping well and waking up feeling like I slept well. Drinking enough water throughout the day. Eating fruits and vegetables. Moving my body, not just to burn calories but because I want to. Not being anemic (I’m really anemic right now). Not having constant pain from my arthritis. Getting fresh air every day. HAVING LESS STRESS IN MY LIFE.
Which brings me to this quote:
“Women are overwhelmed. I hear it over and over and over again from folks across the country, on all sides of the political and social divide. They are constantly multitasking, holding a laptop with one hand and a Swiffer in the other. That unequal distribution of work affects them in multiple ways. Women have less time to focus on their careers, get involved in politics, kvetch to their friends, or heck, go to therapy. In one survey, 60 percent said the one person they never had enough time for was themselves. Three out of four women suffer from burnout, defined as emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive stress…the storm of stress elevates to a Category 5 hurricane: the average mom claims an 8.5 out of 10 on a scale of stress, positioning them somewhere between a Cathy cartoon and a ticking time bomb.”
Yes, yes, yes, 100% yes. Drowning in stress. No “village.” Not enough time or support. But we are supposed to “have it all” and be SUPERWOMAN.
“Employers can dangle workplace wellness initiatives to offset the stress they create in part because we’ve accepted the concept en masse: it’s our job to fix what’s “wrong” with us. Consequently, employers are always suggesting more ways to get well, yet never offering less work or more substantial help. Stress is rarely a matter of a broken brain or a poor “lifestyle choice” but often a symptom of the structural issues facing society.”
I could write an entire essay on that above quote, but this post is getting long, so I will restrain myself. But just know that I am boiling on the inside about that!
Overall I liked the book a lot. It was eye-opening and I liked the concepts the author proposed. I felt like she wasn’t quite as harsh on the GOOP chapter as she should have been. If you’ve read this book, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it.
For now, I will leave you with this quote from the book, something to ponder:
“Self-care should move you toward a life you don’t need to run away from.“
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