40

In a few days I turn 40 years old. It’s weird because it was an age that I never looked forward to. When I was in my 30’s I felt this weird pressure the closer I got to 40 because I was going to be “too old” to have a baby (and I was considered “advanced maternal age” and “geriatric pregnancy” with Logan…so many eye rolls!) so there was this dread as 40 was approaching.

My friend put it well, she said it was “anticipatory grief” and that’s exactly how I feel. I don’t know why. Because I am definitely glad to be alive. I have my health (for the most part) and I am alive. That’s all good, nothing to sneeze at.

I have a son who is going to be 4 years old this year. I have a lovely husband and wonderful animals (two out of the three furbabies are excellent cuddlers!).

When I think back about my life, I did a lot of stuff! One of my first memories of a big world even was the Berlin Wall coming down. I remember watching it on the news.

I also remember the Challenger Explosion. I was standing at the bus stop for school when someone told us and then we learned about it at school.

My first record was Thriller.

I grew up in Seattle. I did the “Running Start” program at school where I could go to community college and get both high school credits and college credits at the same time. I *almost* graduated high-school with enough credits for my AA degree but needed to take some not so fun classes (math yuck) later to finish.

I had the amazing opportunity to go to London with my cousin, Anna, and when I was 18. It was one of the most amazing trips ever!

Columbine happened a year after I graduated from high-school and I remember watching it on TV as it happened. When I was 19 I moved to Portland with my boyfriend and went to college and worked. When we broke up, I moved home for the summer to regroup. 9/11 happened and again, I watched that unfold on TV, too.

I’ve lived in Portland for 21 years now. (Crazy!) I’ve done so much in my life and traveled a LOT. It’s great! And for my birthday we are going back to Hawaii for a week!

Part of it was so I had something to look forward to instead of dreading my birthday! We rented a house on the Big Island with my parents and my brother and his wife. I am SO excited about it! I’ve been looking forward to it for a YEAR! (Yes we booked it a year ago!) It will be amazing!

It’s a big house with a huge lanai that has ocean views. I cannot wait to relax on the lanai with a beverage and just chill. The house has a firepit, a big yard, hot tub and outdoor shower. It’s a 15 minute drive from our favorite beach on the island. It’s going to be magical!