Hopes & Fears

It’s hard to believe the time is almost upon us. I think it’s normal to be fearful and hopeful at the same time. It seems like this pregnancy has both zipped by AND dragged like I was walking through quick sand. Each week seemed to last for-ever! But at the same time it seemed like the pregnancy was going at lightening speed. I blinked and all of a sudden I was in the 3rd trimester. How did that happen?!

After years and years of hoping and fantasizing about a little bundle of joy, and months of gestating, I’m both READY and not ready for him to be here. Part of me is already a little sad that he won’t be inside me moving and kicking around just for me. 🙂

In preparation for our birth class at the hospital I had to fill out a questionnaire and one of the questions was what are we most worried about. For me it was the birth process. For Michael his biggest fear was that I was going to go into labor at an inconvenient time. Meaning–at work, or on the bus, or somewhere where he can’t get to me quickly. That is definitely a fear! I do not want my water to break at work, or on the bus, or to go into labor downtown when our hospital is 10+ miles away. Ideal scenario would be it would start at home, where I am comfortable and only 5 minutes away from the hospital!

So here are some things on my mind lately. Hopes and fears both.

Birth!

Like I’ve said before, I hadn’t given it much thought about the being pregnant part, I always thought about the baby part…and I definitely did not give the BIRTH part much thought either. Probably because it sounds terrifying so I just don’t think about it. 🙂

I’m definitely scared of being ripped in two. But at the same time, I’m scared of ending up having to have a C-section. So I just try not to think about the whole thing and hope for the best. I am definitely not a “must have natural childbirth” kind of person. Whatever happens, works for me. I will go with the flow and see what happens, go with the advice of the doctors and midwives who are the experts. I do not have a “birth plan” other than “give birth to a healthy baby and recover”. Birth plan DONE!

I often skipped the birth chapters of pregnancy books. I was like “I’ll read that later….” I also skipped all the horror stories in pregnancy chat boards. It’s crazy how many people wanted to tell me their HORROR STORIES when they found out I was pregnant. Why? I don’t want to know every worst case scenario that could possible happen…Really, people.

Baby Boy will be super late.

Definitely have some fears that he’s going to be late. I’m already dreading the comments from people who think they are being cute and funny when they say to pregnant women “you’re still pregnant?! Why haven’t you hatched yet” blah blah blah. Not cute. Not funny. NO pregnant woman wants to get grief from people because her baby hasn’t arrived right on time. Just shuuush!

Other than that I haven’t given it too much thought because really, can I control when he decides to arrive? Not really. So why stress.

Breastfeeding

My hope is that breastfeeding goes alright. This is really important to me and I want it to go well. I’ve read a little bit about it but not a ton because really, every baby is different. There’s definitely some fears around it, again–the people with their horror stories–but overall I’m hopeful and excited about it. I’m hopeful that learning how to use the breast pump I got from the doctor is easy.

Sushi!!!!

My hope is that my first post-partum meal is sushi and a giant glass of wine! Take note, Michael! 🙂 I cannot wait for that spicy tuna roll.

Milestones and Learning

I am SO excited about experiencing everything with the baby! I remember the days when I used to babysit and it was crazy how every week they were different little creatures who had learned something new and were growing and so curious about everything. That is so exciting and I’m looking forward to that.

I’m excited to teach our baby things. Read to him. Take him on hikes to explore nature. I’m excited about all of it! And starting to feel impatient. 🙂