Lately…I’ve been struggling. What I find most discouraging is that I’ve become the cliche…now part of the “gained it back” club. I fought that for so long. For 6 years I maintained my weight loss and didn’t see fluctuations that tipped me over my goal weight and I felt confident and happy that I was able to keep it off. I didn’t worry too much about gaining back the 100 pounds I’d lost because I knew I wouldn’t let that happen.
I’m not trying to be melodramatic. I am fully aware that gaining 10-15 pounds is NOT the same as gaining back ALL the weight. No, I have not gained 100 pounds. But it’s a damn slippery slope and 15 pounds is a lot. It needs to stop before it DOES become 100 pounds.
It’s hard that weight is still such a big thing on my mind. I wish I could “let go” and not worry so much. I wish I could not stress about those few pounds. I just can’t shut that off–well, I did, for September and gained 10 pounds! It sucks that food is ONCE AGAIN back in the forefront of my life and my mind. For so long I was able to do what I do — count my calories, eat in moderation, continue exercising — and not be super focused on every single pound and every single bite. Sadly, that focus is back.
The holiday season is making it even harder. I was making progress and had lost about 3-ish pounds of the Honeymoon Weight, which is A LOT for me. When I am this close to goal weight, losing even 1 pound a month is a struggle. It’s a struggle for several reasons. First, my body is used to eating the calorie count I’ve been eating for so many years. In order to see a loss, I would have to restrict my intake pretty drastically. This is hard at the level of fitness I engage in. Restricting too much will just backfire. So where is that happy medium?? Second, my activity level is already really high and that means I can’t do MORE without risking burnout, overuse or injury. I am not going to risk injury by working out more. That is not the answer.
One of the other cliques is the Healthy Living Blogger/Weight Loss Blogger that suddenly disappears and then you find out it’s because they gained a bunch of weight back. No one is immune to this! Which I am figuring out now. I am trying not to be like this. I am still trying to lose the weight. If I disappear for awhile it’s mostly because I’m kind of tired of blogging and need a break…not that I am gaining more weight.
I’ve been trying to figure out what works. I am still counting my calories. I’m reminding myself, on a daily basis, that I need to create a deficit in my calories–that means NOT always eating all the calories I burn at the gym.
I still work out 5 days a week with 2 rest days. I’ve been in kind of a workout rut lately and I think my body is used to what I’m doing. One thing I’m considering for January is increasing my days at the Warrior Room to 3 per week instead of just the 2 I currently do. I think I will see more definite results with that third day. One concern I have is overuse injury potential. Stay tuned.
Sorry to sound like such a Debby Downer. Losing weight was so much easier the first time….go figure.
Kim
You can do this!!! You have had a lot of stress the past few months (even though a lot of it was the good kind of stress) – hopefully now things will be more even which will help you as you try to lose those pounds. I like your idea of trying to mix things up with your workouts!!!
Lisa Eirene
Thanks Kim! I appreciate it!
carbzilla
Oh sweetie – I’ve been there so many times. I would recommend getting your bloodwork done just to see if it’s thyroid or something else. Each time I need to lose, I have to change it up. This summer I did something drastic and lost weight really fast, only to put it right back on. Now I’m on My Fitness Pal and doing my new bootcamp, but in my heart I really want to go back on WW where I can eat anything as long as I count it. Points seem more generous than calories for some reason. Just keep trying different things to see what works. I know that adding a ton of veggies always helps me get things back on track. Big hugs – you’re not alone.
Lisa Eirene
Thanks!
I had my blood work tested last summer and besides being anemic, everything was normal. I use MyFitnessPal too and I changed the goal so it reduced my calories a bit. Maybe that will help me eat less when I see the calories so much lower. I’ve been doing pretty good with my food for the last two weeks. My hope is that I see some progress here soon.
Courtney B
You’ve got this! It definitely sounds like you could change it up though. Have you ever considered focusing on heavy weights?
I haven’t been blogging nearly as long as you have, but when it becomes a chore it’s time to step back. I decided that I would update a minimum of once a week, and it seems to be ok.
Lisa Eirene
I told myself that I’d quit blogging for awhile in 2015. Then I had a few brainstorms for posts and started writing. I still think I will take a break (maybe not quit but definitely a break) soon.
I want to lift heavier but I am so nervous about injury!
Lori
Lisa, I know (believe me, I *know*) that there is the feeling of get it off, get it off, GETITOFFNOW!! However, at this stage is it going to be really slow. People who have lost a lot of weight have slower metabolisms by something like 10%, so be cautious when using your HRM and it’s calorie burn.
The other thing I might suggest, which might be really hard, is to take a break from intensive exercise for a few weeks. You are really active and have been for a long time. Do walking or something for moving, but really take a break. Then start back up and your body will respond better for you. Professional athletes don’t train hard all year long and yet the rest of us have that tendency to work hard all the time all year round. Build in your periodization.
Lisa Eirene
You make some good points. Yes, my metabolism seems stuck. I’m not sure how to jerk it out of it’s rut short of massive restriction (which seems unhealthy to me).
As for the exercise, I have been backing off a bit. I quit the Warrior Room mid-December with the intention of taking a month off, doing swimming, yoga, running and some weight lifting but on my own and not too intense. Then I was going to go back to the WR this month. But I’m still wanting to take some more time off so I might wait til February to go back. It’s just such an intense workout and my body needed a break.
I don’t know how I would do with stopping fitness completely other than walking. I think it would stress me out. But I get what you are saying…
Andrea@WellnessNotes
A couple years ago I gained close to 20 pounds back after having maintained a 50+ pound loss for many years. It was very hard, and I can relate to what you are going through right now.
At the time, I realized that I had to take a new approach. I was still eating quite a few packaged foods at the time, and I decided to let go off them and eat only whole foods (which was scary as I couldn’t count calories as easily). But the switch was a good one as it left me more satisfied. I also said goodbye to alcohol for good. Like you, I was already working out a lot and eating (overall) healthy, and I realized that the easiest way to cut calories was letting go of alcohol. I replaced it with “interesting” herbal teas. Finally, I took a good look at my carb intake, and I realized that I could cut carbs and still feel satisfied. I replaced hash browns with veggie scramble, made lettuce wraps instead of sandwiches, and started eating pasta sauce over sauteed or “spiralized” veggies. All this was actually very helpful when I confirmed my gluten sensitivity two years ago as I didn’t have to make too many changes…
You can do it!!! Take all the time you need away from the blog. What matters is that you do what is best for you and that you are accountable to yourself.
Lisa Eirene
I like all your suggestions. I’ve implemented some of them already (like no alcohol for awhile) and we don’t eat pasta much but I do eat the packaged meals and I need to get away from that. You are right, they are not satisfying.
Andrea
This is very interesting. I have been reading you for years. I find as I get older, that in order to maintain my loss I have to do things differently. For me, that means less carbs (from any source) and alcohol. Sad, but true. I think you may be in a transition and your target is moving. What worked in the past, no longer works. Good luck in finding your new sweet spot.
Lisa Eirene
Thank you for reading for so long Andrea. Yep, the liquid calories add up and I went a bit crazy over the holidays. Once January came I reigned that in. Except for this coming weekend (my birthday) I am going booze-free for awhile.
Jane
Lisa,
I tooted my horn and preened when I lost 220 pounds. When I gained back 15 I was silent and fearful, perhaps afraid I would become the person who ‘gained it all back’ ? I don’t know what would happen. Then I gained back a few more pounds. I labeled myself a failure and beat myself without mercy. I hid. I lied, I hurt in silence. It didn’t help me lose a single one of the regained pounds. Today, ten years since starting, I still maintain a weight loss of 195-200 pounds. This is not my lowest weight. I have a couple of dozen more pounds to lose and today I reject the label of ‘failure or slacker’. There isn’t an expiration date stamped on my arm that says I am a failure if I have not lose all my excess weight by the date someone else sets. I am a person who is maintaining a sizable weight loss. Losing 200 pounds without surgery or medication is nothing short of miraculous. I am a miracle in progress. You are a miracle, too. Stay positive and stay honest. You will get past this.
Lisa Eirene
I love this. Thank you so much! I am not labeling myself a failure (yet) but I was getting close to feeling like I was. January came and I started making little changes here and there to take back control. To avoid crossing over into the “failure” category…
Jaime
You are not alone! I am right there with you. I lost 100 lbs and over the last 6 months have gained 15 lbs. The journey ahead of losing that weight seems much more daunting than the 100 I lost before. Yeah, go figure! I’m learning how to navigate through this next part of my journey and I agree it is a slippery slope that once you start gaining it is so easy to continue. I love reading your blogs as they are real and help me remember that I am not alone in my journey and while there are days I struggle, I’m encouraged to keep taking one step at a time to reach my goal!
Thanks so much for continuing to share your story!
Lisa Eirene
I’m really glad that you are finding some value in my posts and it’s helped you! That was always my goal–prove that weight loss is possible and maintenance can still be fun. For the most part it still is. Right now I need to buckle down though. Thank you for your comment!
emmaclaire
I’m so glad that you’re continuing to blog even though you’re in a tough place, weight-wise. I am also up 11 pounds and agree with Lori’s feeling of “GET IT OFF NOW!!”, as if it will multiply faster the longer it stays on. After being depressed about it for a few days, I tried to recapture some of the mind-set I had when I lost my initial 60 pounds. I’ve pulled out the motivational phrases to stick up around the house, I’ve started asking myself “is this the behavior/choice of a person who really wants to drop some weight?” (THAT’S an eye-opening question, if I choose to be honest with myself [which I don’t always do] ), dropping the alcohol, but for a set time-period so I don’t get discouraged, and incorporating more grain-free days, which helps my calorie count immensely. So far I’ve dropped a little bit of weight, but I’m feeling a bit more in control.
I hope you are able to find a effective balance between tweaking the exercise and monitoring the calories, and that you can take some satisfaction in the positive changes you continue to make in your life!
Hang in there, Lisa 🙂
Lisa Eirene
Yes, there is definitely a “get it off now” feeling! It’s so freakin’ slow!
Thanks for your advice. It sounds similar to what I’m trying to implement…
Fran
I think we all have this at some point (or more often). Nothing is harder than keeping off weight. It’s a long life battle and sometimes you just don’t have the energy or for other reasons to watch carefully and you eat more. For us that results in a gain. Just don’t give up, you will lose it again. Right now I’m also in a position where I gained weight that has to go again. But as Lori says it gets harder and slower, especially when you get older.
Changing your exercise schedule a bit might certainly help.
And I hear you on disappearing and then come back only to mention you have gained a lot. I read the blog of Ben does life who even wrote a book about his weight loss. He hadn’t blogged in months and now he’s back, almost as heavy as back when he started.
Lisa Eirene
There have been a few bloggers that disappeared and came back to admit the gain. I am trying to change my habits before that becomes an issue.
Biz
What makes you different from the other bloggers who just tune everyone out and come back a year later and say “let’s do this again!” is that you have stopped yourself in your tracks, have made note of where you need to change and are doing it loud and proud.
You’ve got this!! Hugs!
Lisa Eirene
Yep, I have recognized that I was sliding, pretty early on. I’m trying to change that before it becomes too much of an issue!
Lisa
Hi Lisa. I just read that Polar has the worst accuracy when it comes to calories burned – up to 40%! Maybe it’s time for a new brand? Hope this helps.
Lisa Eirene
I haven’t heard that. Do you have a link?
Melissa
It is good to know, I am not the only one stuggling with gaining some of my weight back. But I am not giving up and will fight for healthier body again (but it is super tough this time). Good luck, I am sure you will do great!
Lisa Eirene
Nope, not giving up!