Time to Get Real

I have a confession. And I’m pretty sure I probably make the same confession at the end of summer every year…I have definitely gained a few pounds. I decided to take the summer off from the scale. This summer was a little different than the first time I consciously did a Scale-Free Summer. That experiment was a good practice to see where I was in my maintenance and happily, I did not gain weight that summer. (Check out these old posts on the subject: Redefine Your Relationship with Food, Yo-Yo Dieting.)

This summer is different because I was avoiding the scale because I knew I wouldn’t like the number I saw. When I got back from my vacation in California I knew it was time. I stepped on the scale and was actually surprised it wasn’t worse!

September 4th – 149.2 pounds.

I’m still under my goal weight but too close to 150 for my comfort. This time last year I weighed 144. That’s the number I’ve pretty much stayed at during my maintenance. There are fluctuations up and down, but it usually stays around there. I saw that number go up to 146 at the start of summer. Those last 3 pounds were definitely vacation weight!

I also think my injury finally caught up to me. I’d been able to maintain my weight this year while not doing much cardio activity but I definitely saw a slow creep. By the time summer was here and our usual festivities that always include eating good food, I was getting kind of lax. Read: lazy. I know I was lazy. Lazy with calorie counting, lazy with eating, eating more junk food, giving in to stress eating. This post — An Excuse to Eat — was pretty much my summer. I made a lot of excuses! I was CELEBRATING. I was BUSY. I was on VACATION. Excuses, excuses. I stress ate, I happy ate, I gave in to lots of cravings and urges and OVER-ate.

I knew it before I even got on the scale. My pants were all tight. I kept talking myself out of it, though, telling myself I don’t SEE the weight gain in any of the vacation photos. Where is it?!? But it’s there. The scale told me and the tight pants reaffirmed it.

Time to Get Real

The desire to lose weight has nothing to do with the wedding. Honestly, the wedding feels like it’s so far away I can’t even focus on that. I just want to get back down to the 144 “normal” weight that I’d been at for so long.

I’m being honest with myself. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s easy to get LAZY about counting calories and ignore/deny the bites and nibbles. I am so guilty of this. ALWAYS. My whole journey has been this way and it needs to stop. I need to be HONEST about what I am putting in my mouth or this won’t work.

I need to make better choices. Yes, I still believe “everything in moderation” but that doesn’t mean I can go crazy eating junk. When I was on vacation I didn’t feel great because my diet was lacking fruits and vegetables. That is most definitely back on my place! This also means that I need to decide whether I want a glass of wine with dinner OR dessert. Just because I worked out does not mean I get to do both ALL THE TIME.

I need to stop lying about portions. This has always been a struggle for me. A portion size is never as much food as I want to eat. It’s hard to change your thinking and tell yourself “STOP. You have a portion of food on your plate, do you REALLY need more?” Usually I don’t need a second portion. I just WANT it. Needing and wanting are totally different.

Progress

It’s been a few weeks since I weighed in. I’ve been counting my calories diligently–even the nibbles. I’ve been making better choices for snacks. I’ve been *mostly* honest about portions. I’ve also been trying to drink more water. There are also no desserts in my house right now and there haven’t been for the last month! That’s huge for me!

So here are the weigh in check ins:

September 4th: 149.2 pounds

September 13th: 148 pounds, -1.2

September 27th: 145, -3

PROGRESS. Already I feel better. Seeing the scale move in the right direction gave me confidence that my plan works! Counting calories, being aware of the food I eat and staying with the exercise routine has helped me lose over 4 pounds! I’m almost there. Hopefully my next weigh-in in October will show 144!

One thing I’ve noticed is that I went up in jean sizes this summer. Part of that was the weight gain. I went from a size 4 to a 6. I was surprised that losing the weight didn’t make me go back down to the size 4. But honestly, those 4 jeans are super tight in my hips, butt and thighs. Even with the weight loss. Then I read this post by Suzanne from Workout Nirvana. Weight lifting changes your body composition and the way clothes fit. That explains a lot!

QUESTION: Are you being honest with yourself regarding calories and portions? Why or why not?