It seems like several people in the blog world are struggling with food temptations lately–I am definitely one of them.
Ashley left a comment on last week’s post about Dodging Landmines: “I felt really guilty because I ate the entire bun. Usually I only eat 1/2 of the bun at a restaurant. And then we went out for dinner and I had one of those “eff it!” moments where you go for exactly what you want (you should blog about that!) and got a bleu cheese burger on a white bun … and I did it again. We’re going out to dinner tonight, too. They’ll have to roll me to work on Monday.”
Oh yes…the “Eff it!” moment! I know it very well. In fact last week was hard for me because I realized that I was mindlessly snacking and not tracking my calories honestly. I vowed to be better, to be stronger. I did pretty well for a few days too!
Skinny Emmie confessed recently that she slipped into her old habits for a week. She said that she had a “Freedom Week” after finishing her half marathon she reverted back to her old eating ways:
“This week, my “freedom” from my new healthy lifestyle meant I reverted back to these old behaviors. It was an unconscious, robotic thing. I mindlessly went to restaurants and ate food that I know is unhealthy. I ate it without being aware of taste and how it made me feel, physically.”
I hope that Emily isn’t beating herself up too much because right after a big race your body is completely out of whack. After I ran Hood to Coast I had an insatiable hunger and ate everything in sight for about 10 days. I craved bizarre food, I felt like no matter how much I ate I wasn’t satisfied. The body is smart. It wants to be replenished after we do something dramatic like a Relay Race or Half Marathon!
Even Beth has confessed to slipping into old habits! It’s like an epidemic lately. Or maybe it’s contagious? What is going on?
This weekend I was at a friend’s house doing some baking. I was feeling kind of down, physically exhausted and I was really sore from the hard workout. I found myself having a really hard time resisting the temptation to just go hog-wild with the food. I wanted to just eat a gallon of that cookie dough. I had two bites of the cookie dough while we were baking and somehow I found the strength within me to stop sampling.
I told myself, “Stop. You were doing so good with trying to end the mindless nibbling.” I reminded myself that I was able to resist the Snack Monster for three days. I wanted to break the habit and I was doing so well!
I ate 2 cookies fresh out of the oven and then stopped. Did I want three more? YES!! I wanted 8 more cookies! The only thing that kept me from completely derailing was this thought: I worked so hard to lose the weight. I can’t go back to the old ways now.
The last few weeks I’ve also been writing a bit. Right now I’m writing about how I used to eat. Remembering those stories was really hard. I’m not ready to share them here yet. But writing these stories down brought emotions up I wasn’t expecting. Sometimes amazement at how I used to eat. Sometimes shame. Sometimes sadness. Either way it was definitely a trigger.
I wish there was an easy answer for those moments when I want to say “Eff It!” and eat everything in sight. I am happy to say that those “Eff it” moments are fewer and far between the longer I maintain my loss but I still slip. The time that this happens the most is with restaurant eating.
Last week was a lot of restaurant eating for me: I had happy hour with my cousin on Monday and dinner with a friend on Saturday. Then this week Michael and I are going out to dinner with his family for his birthday, Friday I have dinner plans with a friend and Saturday Michael and I are going out too. So much restaurant food! My restraint is weaker at a restaurant. I just have such a hard time making good choices when faced with an entire menu of fattening food.
I know how to eat “smart” in a restaurant: splitting entrees, ordering soup and salad instead of a big burger, eating half of my food and saving the rest for lunch the next day. It’s hard. Some days I just want to eat all of it and not be “good!”
One thing I have learned in my “eff it” moments where I do overindulge is that it’s NOT the end of the world. It CAN be reversed. It can be squashed as long as I don’t keep doing it. One slip up every once in awhile will not mean I gain back 100 pounds. This was a hard lesson to learn because I would beat myself up for days after a slip up. I’d feel defeated and depressed.
QUESTION: Do you give in to those “eff it! I’ll just keep eating” moments? Do you have a trick for getting over these urges?
Sara
I think we all have days/weeks/months/moments when being responsible ALL the time just wares on us. Eating healthy and taking the time to be conscious about it is exhausting and to be a responsibility to my body/mind. Especially if it’s a new habit (and sometimes these habits are new for a number of years since it took us sometimes a number of years to realize our current habits were unhealthy for us).
So when exhausted what’s the easiest thing to do? Reach for whatever is easiest and makes us the happiest at the moment – which in America typically means fast food or junk food or processed food or restaurant food slathered in butter/oil/etc. It’s hard. And I think it always will be *drat!* but it’s that challenge of life that I think drives a lot of us to continue on our journey to stay healthy and live a happy life. I don’t ever doubt that my life will be full of slip ups or days when I say “Eff it!” myself and stop thinking about what the healthiest food is for me at the moment…but it’s our drive to get back to being responsible for our healthy selves that will save us from ultimately returning to our old habits completely. Plus, sometimes it’s good to have some moments to reflect and realize maybe we need to give ourselves some added pats on the back and that we are doing a great job staying healthy most of the time.
And sometimes it’s good to learn how to cope with those days, too. If you never have an “eff it” day because of whatever reason, you won’t learn how to cope when one day you are faced with stress or a hard day or a happy day (whatever drives you to eat poorly). so while I definitely regret some of the “Eff it” days I have had in the past, I always strive to figure out how I can change how I react to them in the future and look for warning signs before I get too deep in the cookie dough 😉
Sorry that wasn’t better written…I had a lot of thoughts pouring out and didn’t want to miss any 🙂
Sara
Lisa Eirene
Thank you for the comment, Sara, and no it wasn’t badly written! You were much more eloquent about it than my muddled thoughts on the subject. You are SO right! Having little slip ups once in awhile can be learning experiences so that if a “big” event happens in life we have already prepared for it. I’ve gotten MUCH better with my stress eating. In the last year I’ve had a lot of things happen that have sent me straight to the ice cream tub. Stress eating at it’s finest. As each one happened I realized my mistake quickly and curbed the behavior. Now? I’m doing much better. The stressful stuff I was dealing with last month did not lead me to the candy drawer. Instead I felt me feelings (as awful as they were) and refused to blindly eat to feel better. It was eye-opening for me.
Sara
Exactly! That’s the HARDEST part I’m realizing, too. Actually FEELING the feelings that are leading you to seek comfort or to dull the emotion with food. (at least for me) I tend to be a pretty emotional (I like to think passionate is the nicer term) person and when I’m full of any emotion I can honestly say I have trouble dealing with the feeling itself. I tend to use food to help dull the sensation a bit which in turn comforts me but then also leads to overeating and being unhealthy. Only in the past year have I forced myself to FEEL – like really honestly feel things for what they are (no matter good or bad emotion) and just experience it. I’ve noticed while it’s pretty intense I do get over things a bit easier/faster than when I dulled the emotion with food which kind of extended it’s life for a few days rather than maybe a few moments/hours. I know I still struggle but like you I know I’m doing much better than I was in the past and strive to continue to do so!
Lisa Eirene
Yes! That’s definitely been the hardest part for me! Especially after spending half of my life on antidepressants that dull every emotion. Being off them and having to FEEL everything was a nightmare at first. I definitely used food as a bandaid (and gained weight doing so). It’s a hard cycle to break but once you do, it gets easier on both parts (the feelings AND the food).
Beth @ Beth's Journey
It really is an epidemic! It’s really hard to stop yourself from falling back into old habits and its quite scary how quickly it happen, no matter how far you’ve come.
Lisa Eirene
Yes! You would think after maintaining for almost 3 years I’d have my “sh*t together.” But you never know when you’re gonna slip. I guess the trick is: try not to KEEP slipping!
Becky
Eff it! OH MAN, how those words show up at the worst times. I am so guilty of these moments, and they are so hard to prepare for. I just have to remember the final goal and try to keep it in check!
Lisa Eirene
Yep! Having a final goal in mind that you’re striving for helps a lot. It kept me right on track when I was trying to lose 100 pounds. I’d tell myself whenever I wanted to say “Eff it!” and eat junk: “Just 30 more pounds to go, just 20 pounds, 5 pounds til goal…don’t ruin it now!” And it worked. When I got to maintenance mode it was a lot harder because I didn’t have specific goals to keep me in line.
Lisa
I really do think that this is something that happens to a lot of people – but it is probably not spoken about that often (perhaps due to sahme / guilt???) I agree with what becky said ^^^ ie. that the words seem to show up at the worst times too!
Lisa Eirene
That’s a good point because I often feel guilty when I slip up and won’t post about it, or include photos. It’s not like I’ll take a bunch of photos of candy, binge, and then write about it!
Jane Cartelli
This is where I have no choice. I have to remember that for me it is a life and death decision anytime I want to say Eff it and eat something not part of my food plan. In the early 1990’s I lost over 100 pounds and then was badly hurt by someone I loved and respected. I used that excuse to say Eff it, and started back into eating sugar and then overeating. Before I knew it I had gained 20 pounds. Then 50, then 100 and eventually I reached 385 lbs. It took me FOURTEEN YEARS of saying “just one more”, “I’ll start tomorrow”, “I’ll start again on Monday – FOURTEEN YEARS before I hit bottom hard enough to let go of trying to control the behavior of “just one bite, lick or taste.”
I do not have one cookie. I cannot risk that this time might be the time I do not stop. That is how I keep away from the first bite one day at a time for the past 4 1/2 years.
Jane
Keepingthepoundsoff.com
Lisa Eirene
I had no idea you gained and lost 100 pounds twice. You should be very proud that you’ve kept it off for almost 5 years!
I see your point about how “just one bite” can turn into too many bites and it’s very easy to slip into old ways but I don’t think I could just NEVER eat a cookie ever again in order to keep the weight off. I think (for me) there can be a balance. I always have to be “on” and make sure I’m counting those calories in the cookies, but I don’t want to restrict myself of everything.
jane Cartelli
Lisa,
I understand completely. If I was not having cookies etc just to keep the pounds off I would be diving into eating them today. I do not eat them today because I do not want to go back to the insanity they will bring into my life. I always knew I could never swear off cookies, ice cream and pizza for life. I had to reach that decision myself, in my time. That is why, where most people in recovery give up sugar first, I gave it up last. I am a stubborn food addict. 🙂
When I came to accept that I only had to give them up one day at a time I felt the biggest relief in my life. That those ‘one day at a times’ have all joined into a long chain of over 1500 days is a miracle.
Jane~
Keepingthepoundsoff.com
Lisa Eirene
That makes sense. And the “one day at a time” works–it’s a clique but it really does work. I can make promises to myself for one day and stick to it, then the next day and the day after. But being faced with a huge task and thinking “the rest of my life” is overwhelming!
Lori Lynn
This is something that has been a struggle for me a lot lately. I have worked really hard to get where I’m at, and it’s so hard not to go back to my old habits and patterns. Stress is a big factor of it, but giving into the temptation, tends to make me crave and want the unhealthy foods even more! I try not to feel guilty about it, which I have gotten a bit better with, but sometimes it depends upon the day or the hour!
Lisa Eirene
Yes! It can often depend on the day or hour. lol
Lesley Lifting Life
I agree, it’s important not to beat yourself up after a slip up. The moment you realize it and regret it, begin again with the next meal or snack and move on with your healthy eating as if it never happened. Much less stressful than dwelling on it! 🙂
blackhuff
I do have those “eff it” moments and I think most of us do have them but what makes us better now, is how we can revert back to our healthy new eating ways after a session like this.
At this moment, I just have a serious pep talk to myself after such a moment and then go back to my healthy eating.
Lisa Eirene
Having an awareness of food and calories and weight gain/loss keeps me from truly saying “Eff it” and totally losing all control. I made slip up, I may overindulge, but I don’t just give up entirely. I can’t. I know how many calories are in a gallon of ice cream and that keeps me from eating it all!
steena
Yup, I have eff it moments all the time! The simplest thing to do, for me, is to stand back, take a deep breath, and think about what I’m about to do. it usually works, and I lose my eff it moment. USUALLY!! Nobody is perfect!